14 Comments

  1. Ianrowcliffe on February 24, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    I have just ordered the book as it is now shipping: it should be a real pleasure to have it in my hands. It is a labor of love! Just like a new born baby with all his/her potential there before our eyes. Of course, I’d liked to have had a signed copy… although I don’t know why that should make a difference. I guess we are so like horses: like to feel presence – each other’s presence: the power of the herd!



  2. NancyProulx on February 21, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    Congratulations Linda! So happy to see your book is out.

    Thank you to your herd also. Who better than the horse to teach us these skills. Their survival depends on the herd working together in a balanced way. Here’s to humanity taking their lead.

    So appreciative of your hard work.
    Nancy



  3. Ianrowcliffe on February 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    So, what happened to the last talk on Enjoying the Ride?



    • Ianrowcliffe on February 21, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      This platform is really something else: I posted that comment a minute ago and it recorded it as having taken place 8 hours ago – talk about being swept away by the currents of time:-) Anyway, I haven’t drowned in the depths of it yet!

      Time to go and talk to my horses:-)



    • Mark on February 21, 2013 at 2:16 pm

      Hi Ian

      Thanks for reminder, I’ve just written to Linda to ask her if she can do next week.

      FYI – the system date is set to Pacific time, hence the “8 hour” delay.

      Mark



  4. Susan Garvin on February 11, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Nancy I cannot really add to what Ian has said, just wanted to let you know I’ve read your posting and much admire you for your ability to put the principles into action in such a heated moment! I think Ian has made a good suggestion, to have that difficult conversation – maybe to suggest that you are not treated in this manner by your medics (holy cow though, imagine having him as a doctor treating you!) but there is another difficult conversation maybe which is to try to resolve the tech’s issue, since it sounds as if she really is in the wrong job….



    • NancyProulx on February 12, 2013 at 11:49 am

      Thank you Ian and Susan,

      I did take your advise and had a difficult conversation with the doctor. I told him I appreciated his standards and that mine and if I can speak for the girls in my department are of high quality also. He then said that his behavior is just his way and that it was actually misdirected anger and that the anger was at his fellow doctor . Hmm, don’t think he is willing to look at that level of anger being harmful to his practice.

      Yes I may have to agree with you Susan on the techs situation. Only time will tell and hopefully she can develop some emotional heroism from this experience. I always said that I work at that facility to develop presence and the ability to hold my ground. I have so many stories and examples that I probably could write a book.



      • Susan Garvin on February 13, 2013 at 8:03 am

        you know Nancy, thinking more about this tech – I myself have been in the wrong job before now, and as I am – not exceptionally but like so many of us, your Tech included it would seem -a tryer, it was hard for me to admit to myself that I was in the wrong job, and needed to get out. both times it has happened it has scarred me deeply, and if I had had a kind, caring, emotionally heroic person to help me get out sooner and – the key part – find a better slot for myself in life, I would have suffered less then and afterwards and I would also have made life easier sooner for the colleagues who had to deal with me.The second time it happened I was quicker on the uptake and less hard on myself, and got out sooner, but a helping hand would have been very welcome. If you can help this tech find a way out and at least give her help to find a way forward, you would be truly giving her a life-gift. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that someone is not doing a good job, even tho they are trying their damnedest, but it really makes it a heroic act to help redirect their goals in a better direction. so it sounds to me as if she is very very lucky to have you as a colleague!!!



        • NancyProulx on February 13, 2013 at 12:02 pm

          Excellent point Susan.



      • LindaKohanov on February 17, 2013 at 4:27 pm

        This is a great example of a conundrum involving emotional intelligence, social intelligence, leadership, and team building issues. It is quite amazing, first of all, that the doctor admitted that his anger was misdirected. He would not have done this if you hadn’t have spoken to him in a masterful way, one that I assume was clear and strong, while emphasizing a problem solving mentality that was not shaming or accusatory to the doctor. Changing this behavior would take some serious EQ skill building, but at least he has acheived the first step: awareness of his habit of misdirecting anger. I can tell you from experience with such people: He won’t be able to change this on his own. He needs skills he doesn’t have.

        It sounds like the employee has been given several good-faith chances to improve without real success. It would be good to find her another position that is a better fit for her natural abilities and current skills. I have had to use the difficult conversation to let people go or, if possible, put them in a different position. It is often a relief to the person when the conversation emphasizes that while she tried her best, the position doesn’t fit her natural gifts, and that she will excel and enjoy her work when she finds the right position for her temperament, skills and as-yet untapped talents.



  5. Nancy Proulx on February 9, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    I would like to share a a little of applying some of Linda’s principles in my workplace and would love feedback. I work two days a week at a high powered privately owned radiology facility. We have about twelve doctors who work there. I’ve been working there about 4 years after taking 20 years off to raise my children and owned a 30 stall boarding facility. The job has been a great way to use Linda’s principles.

    Recently we have needed to hire a few new techs. I’ve noticed a lot of conflicts in ultimately fitting new people into our department over the years. It’s a very tight knit group and standards are very high. One of the new hires has been called out by many of the doctors for inferior quality pictures, so she has been placed at our office and a couple other sites to work under our supervision for a period of a couple months. My full-time girls wanted to write her off right away. I talked them into trying to give her a chance. I valued her 100 percent effort and maturity, feeling that her talent in taking a good picture could be possibly develop to B plus, but her effort and ability to blend and take direction from the group an A. I didn’t want to use her vulnerability against her but help her develop it.

    She has finally been turned loose to work by herself this week at one of the satellite offices. Specifically yesterday, when one of our doctors walked over to my department. He opened the door to our department and since I was the only tech he recognized , he started to yell at me for inferior films taken this day and inferior films have been coming out of our site specifically. Now this doctor is a little socially awkward. Doesn’t know how to speak with people and has little eye contact at all. He was so angry that he could hardly speak or breath. I was sitting down at that point and decided to stand up. I believe to hold my ground intuitively. I did walk a few steps towards him to engage with him and he moved a few steps out of my space. I don’t feel like I was being aggressive just holding my space, while trying to figure out what and where the problem was. I did notice him at least took a breath when he stepped back . Trying to explain that he was probably reading a film from another site was like hitting a wall. Actually almost everything I said was like talking to a wall. Although as he left he at least had the thought that maybe he’s got the wrong location to project his anger at. Wasn’t that level of anger so inappropriate and the inability to listen and communicate was not going to get anything resolved?
    A little resistance coming from me?

    I did call my manager because the films were done by the woman who we had been mentoring and possibly she is just not going to make it. The films were horrible and she should have it by now. Some people just don’t have the feel for what is called for in this line of work. I still felt like this doctor didn’t hear me and hopefully our manager can have a better conversation with him. Any thoughts from the group?



    • Ianrowcliffe on February 10, 2013 at 4:45 pm

      Hi Nancy

      Sounds like there are at least three problems to turn around, which you point out:

      Re: I’ve noticed a lot of conflicts in ultimately fitting new people into our department over the years. It’s a very tight knit group and standards are very high.

      You seem to have worked at applying GP10, engage consensual leadership, but it hasn’t come across. And GP3, manage contagious emotions. There seems to be a lot of negativity directed at the new tech – and even more now. Clearly, no one has established why she isn’t able to do the job properly. But it doesn’t seem to be just her problem. Judging from the doctor’s reaction intimidation in not unusual, so it is easy to see how this can be passed on to the ‘weakest’ link.

      Re: level of anger so inappropriate and the inability to listen and communicate. Really, what we are seeing is a ‘high and mighty’ reaction. Obviously, there is a problem – shoddy work jeopardizes the Facility. Nevertheless, the shaming and blaming strategy isn’t going to solve the problem as you rightly understood. Sounds like implementing GP9, prepare for difficult conversations is appropriate. Maybe, the doctor may have some insights into solving the problem rather than adding to it.

      Re: the new tech ‘turned loose’ … there needs to be some procedure to ensure against this happening again and the maintenance of standards, for example, working in pairs and rotating partners plus having some built-in quality control checks. It sounds like there needs to be a collective response to find a solution, where a responsible procedure is agreed upon to integrate new members into the team. This is in everybody’s interests.

      I don’t know if this helps at all:-)

      I am glad you were able to establish some boundaries with the doctor. This was clearly a step in the right direction and you might give yourself a ‘pat on the back’ for that. Nevertheless, further steps do need to be taken, don’t they?

      Wishing you a good and resful Sunday

      Ian



      • NancyProulx on February 10, 2013 at 5:35 pm

        Attitude all dribbles down from the top(doctors) . That core energy needs to be addressed at that level also. But I guess we can only be responsible for our part. I really felt like I have used my integrity in this situation. As far as the new tech. She was giving a grace period with supervision and mentoring. An example is, I like to sing and can sing and blend in a group but sing a solo and I’m wandering off key,even though I have sung a lot in my life. It’s time this tech goes solo. It’s what the position demands. She just may lack the natural talent for seeing into the body. I’ve seen other people like this , they have the natural caregiver part but the technical part just doesn’t comprehend.

        Thanks for the feedback. Linda’s tools are so helpful.



  6. Ianrowcliffe on February 8, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    Amazing, Linda – congratulations!